Barack Obama Still Confounds

I'm in pain, even more so than at the concert where T.I. rapped along to a recording of himself for an hour.  This is more like if -- I actually can't come up with a better analogy than what just happened -- it's like if Herbie Hancock played backup to will.i.am and Sheryl Crow.

I feel like leprechauns are shoving candies so far into the back of my mouth that it's triggering my gag reflex, or maybe that's just because I'm watching the U2 portion of Obama's inaugural.  I feel like Obama is simultaneously tickling my balls and performing my bris, sans any religion-induced psychological painkiller.  It's actually surprising easy to spew out similes for this well-choreographed confusing and conflicting travesty.  Here's a list of some of the more emotional moments of the inauguration for me:

Awesome  Good  Weird  Painful

Denzel Washington

                                                    Bruce Springsteen

fat MLK son                      apparently some sort of actress

                                     Jamie Fox    Steve Carrell

                                     Marisa Tomei "ing Ronald Reagan

                      Joe Biden

                                    Queen Latifah

Kumar                                              George Lopez

Herbie Hancock                                  will.i.am & Sheryl Crow

                     Tiger Woods

                                    Rosario Dawson   Jack Black

                      Garth Brooks

Forest Whitaker                  another supposed actress

Stevie Wonder                                     Usher & Shakira

Samuel L. Jackson

Barack Obama

                                                     Beyonce

Note that people on the same line appeared simultaneously, so yes, Kumar did appear with George Lopez, will.i.am did rap about politics over Herbie Hancock's rendition of Bob Marley's "One Love", and Usher did trade ad libs with Stevie Wonder over "Higher Ground".  Wow, that last part was physically painful to write.

On top of it all, it was more a tribute to progressing race relations than to our 44th president.  With any luck, we'll get all this out of our system by the time we elect our next ethnic president.

All that being said, amongst my favorite Obama speeches.  Really, damn good.  I felt all tingly.

There, I finally posted.